Scott Bakula was a brilliant scientist who invented a time machine and then oh-so-brilliantly tested it on himself. Of course, hilarity ensured when he discovered that the machine sent him uncontrollably through time, leaping in and out of other people's lives. A female voice (whom I never successfully identified) passionately explains the good Doc's plight at the beginning of each episode thusly:
"And so Dr. Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once was wrong, and hoping each time that his next leap... will be the leap home."Remember? Oh screw it. Here's a clip.
How does this relate to me? Well, it kinda goes like this. Every time I went out on a first date, I would cross my fingers and hope that this would be my very last first date. I fantasized that every first kiss would be my last first kiss. And, well... you get the picture.
Clearly this resulted in much disappointment. My best friend's husband came up with the solution. He challenged me, actually he required me, to date at least 20 guys before I was allowed to search for "the one."
His challenge made a whole lot of sense. After all, before my divorce I had dated exactly three guys; my ex-husband, my college boyfriend who cheated on me with six of my friends, and the guy I took to the Homecoming dance Senior year of High School (who turned out to be gay.) Not exactly a stellar track record.
[Oops. A friend just reminded me. I went on four official dates before my marriage. The fourth was with a marine who told me over dinner, "The date's not over 'til you do me." Actually, he used far more crass language, but I thought I'd give you the PG-13 version. Needless to say, that's the date that'll never end!]
So, here we are, four years (and one dismal 1 1/2 year long relationship) later and this week I'm set to out with #21 and #22. (Yeah, I know! Two dates in one week. It's a big one.)
Have I learned all I need to learn? Well, no. Not everything. But, I certainly have much more realistic expectations. I've worked up a pretty decent list of what I'm looking for. And, I've got a lot of fantastic stories. I'll share them with you someday. But, for today...you just get the list.
20. Anderson Cooper (no, not the real one.)
19. Not fat, not sweaty, and not cheap.
18. Speed dater who was be fatter, older, and less charming than I remembered.
17. The Man
16. Crazy C
15. Speed dater whose name I've forgotten.
14. Tortillas and Tequila
13. The Russian
12. I HAVE NO IDEA. DOES ANYONE REMEMBER WHO I'M FORGETTING?
11. The Dr. Who Bit Me
10. Bob
9. C, the 1st
8. Pee Boy
7. What do you mean you don't want kids?
6. The First Boy I Ever Asked Out
5. The Australian Boy
4. Paul with a P
3. The Republican
2. The Flirt
1. He Who Shall Not Be Named
There it is. My list of 20. Good for me.
So, will #21 (or #22 for that matter) be the charm? I doubt it. All I'm hoping for is to have a nice time and not get bit. I suppose that attitude means the exercise worked, eh?
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