Fifth time's the charm?

Meet Harry.

Harry likes me. He really, really likes me. How do I know this? Well, three years ago, when I first joined match.com, Harry sent me the following message.

Hi there,

You have a very charming profile. I am intrigued! Please take a look at mine and let me know if there is any interest. A profile, as such, is just that: a profile! It does not and can not even come close to conveying the true essence of me as a person.

However, I hope you like what you read/see (either or both)! I look forward to your positive response ...


Best,


- Harry

Then, when I joined again in March of this year, Harry sent me THIS message.

Hi there,


You have a very charming profile. I am intrigued! Please take a look at mine and let me know if there is any interest. A profile, as such, is just that: a profile! It does not and can not even come close to conveying the true essence of me as a person.


However, I hope you like what you read/see (either or both)! I look forward to your positive response ...


Best,


- Harry

And again in April, he sent me this...

Hi there,


You have a very charming profile. I am intrigued! Please take a look at mine and let me know if there is any interest. A profile, as such, is just that: a profile! It does not and can not even come close to conveying the true essence of me as a person.


However, I hope you like what you read/see (either or both)! I look forward to your positive response ...


Best,


- Harry

In May, when I changed my main profile photo, I received it again.

Hi there,


You have a very charming profile. I am intrigued! Please take a look at mine and let me know if there is any interest. A profile, as such, is just that: a profile! It does not and can not even come close to conveying the true essence of me as a person.


However, I hope you like what you read/see (either or both)! I look forward to your positive response ...


Best,


- Harry

And, just today, after changing my profile photo again, I got it...AGAIN.

Hi there,


You have a very charming profile. I am intrigued! Please take a look at mine and let me know if there is any interest. A profile, as such, is just that: a profile! It does not and can not even come close to conveying the true essence of me as a person.


However, I hope you like what you read/see (either or both)! I look forward to your positive response ...


Best,


- Harry

Now, if I get an obvious form letter from a guy I'm actually interested in, I'll respond. (To be honest, I'm not sure this theory has ever been tested. I think the kind of guy who's gonna hold my interest is generally going to send a personalized response.)


I understand that some guys just aren't word smiths. That's fine. Words are my thing. I don't actually need to end up with someone who's comfortable stringing compound sentences together. I'd much rather end up with someone who's adept at minor car repairs or good at remembering to pay bills on time. (Don't worry. I always get the bills paid. Just not necessarily on time!)


But, Harry, at least according to his profile, is capable of using the English language. After all, Harry has (and I'm quoting,)

Three grad degrees in different but highly relevant areas - two from an Ivy League school and one from a Big Ten program.

 In fact, Harry doesn't have the slightest problem with words. He even quotes Shakespeare and the Sound of Music! (Though, in the interest of not losing my three dedicated readers, I'll spare you the Julie Andrews reference.)

Like Shakespeare said, "If music be the food of love, play on"... after all, love is nothing but friendship set to music :-)!! For starters, I am a tall, athletic, decent looking, well educated, financially secure, professional with an active lifestyle and a great sense of humor. I am in search of my soulmate! A sweet, pretty, feminine lady with a bright personality and a quick wit is *all* (!!) that I ask for!

(I have to mention here that Harry's overuse of the exclamation point has made me re-evaluate that pesky piece of punctuation in my own writing. I promise. I'll try to use it more sparingly in the future.)


I decided, for my good deed of the day, I'd write to Harry and let him know that receiving the same form letter five times does not make a girl feel special. I tried to be nice. After all, Harry might not be my type, but he seems like a nice enough fella. If the only thing separating him from finding his true soulmate and living a happy life is an unnecessary reliance on form letter emails, it would be remiss of me not to point it out.


Besides, match.com said I needed to send two more emails this billing cycle in order to redeem my six months free guarantee. The rules don't stipulate that I actually have to be interested in the people who receive those emails!


So, this is what I sent. The goal was to offer a little constructive criticism, without making him think he should use this new-found strategy on me. How did I do?

Harry,


You've sent this exact message to me four times since March. And I'm pretty sure when I was on match 3 years ago, you sent the same exact message then, too.


I'm not interested, but maybe you'd like some friendly advice? Women are much more likely to respond to you if they feel like you've at least made the effort to write something personal. Maybe in the email you could reference something specific that you found charming about their profile? Then they know that you think they're special, and not just one of dozens of girls you email every day.


Good luck!